schizoaffective recovery ramble

 I became exactly what I hated. I don't want to go into it but I lied a lot and exacerbated stuff during my life. I didn't know how bad my psychosis actually was until it was too late. I apologize if anyone who knew me pre medication finds this. I'm sorry I was a husk of a person dictated by my subconscious thoughts.

do I deserve to make new friends? I'm not sure. I'm enjoying my time alone rn but I cant deny being lonely. iop is exhausting. I'm also trying to quit all drugs and that's not going well.who even am I? I don't know. I hope i find out soon.

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